A few days ago, there was some information spread on social media about the affair that happened in some public figures’ marriages. An affair might occur not only in a public figure’s marriage but also in everyone with a committed relationship.
Instinctively, we all want to be in a committed relationship, but do we really understand the meaning behind commitment? Being of the human species, we tend to be driven by our feelings in decision-making. Therefore the failure of relationships over and over again.
We tend to commit for many of the wrong reasons or no reason at all. Once the reality of those flighty decisions begins to hold us accountable, that’s the time when the relationship is not fun anymore. And that’s the time when we are looking for a distraction from reality. The reasons that blinded us, in the beginning, are no longer recognizable.
In my experience, it happened to me almost a decade ago when my ex-partner cheated on me. It was an indescribable hurtful feeling I have ever experienced, I must say. I realized when he went missing for a few days. It was hard to contact him. He didn’t reply to my text, he didn’t even answered my call. But once he answered, his voice turned cold, not sounded as excited as he was, and acted completely like a stranger. He changed. But it took me not quite long to find out what made this guy change.
It was quite tough to encounter the fact that he was approaching someone behind my back. Surprisingly the girl he was approaching was the girl who also went to the same university as us and she knew that I and my ex were in a committed relationship. The thing that made me extremely disappointed was he never asked me to communicate what was wrong with our relationship or to ask for a breakup instead of cheating–which he had done as well to his ex before me. He never had the audacity to ask me for a breakup.
Meanwhile, during the time of self-improvement, I was wondering about what have I done when my ex-partner cheated on me. I was blaming myself for not being the attractive woman my ex wanted. My mind was full of toxic thoughts. We were in approximately 6 years of a committed relationship. It wasn’t easy as I hid the relationship from my family as they (especially my mum) didn’t want him to be my partner at all. They thought I had broken up with my ex before him (who is a medical specialist now) because of this guy. To be completely honest, this is the time when I feel full of remorse. I could’ve been a mother right now. But that’s not the point.
Are we mature or educated enough to be aware of the importance of understanding what a relationship entails? Maturity, education, and experience are very instrumental in being able not only to commit to a relationship but also to strengthen it as it grows.
As I grew up, with all the understanding of a commitment, I reminisced again about when I was in a 6-year long relationship. I wasn’t ready for a committed relationship, even though I was in a position where getting cheated on. It was only my ego that I got cheated on. I was furious the time I got cheated–well, everyone does. Actually, a year before he cheated on me, I was asking for a breakup but he resist.
Committing to a relationship is a serious decision that should not ever be made out of lust. Commitment should never be taken lightly as it is proof of one’s character and their ability to respect another.
A Tea Person 